Helen Keller: “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life is this: nothing is permanent. When we were young, with having nothing to do during the idle summer recess, it seemed like time itself is frozen, with every second and minute ticking by at a glacial pace.
In those seemingly innocent summer days, we feel almost invincible. It’s as though we are stuck, in our youth, and that nothing can hurt us or anyone near us.
This perception continues, until it doesn’t. With the first news of a relative’s (close and not so close ones) death, followed by a celebrity’s death or two, we slowly begin to realize how nothing is ever permanent.
One minute we’re enjoying our simple, innocent lives, having not much to worry about at all, then we run into this thing called life. Life can be this dual thing. At times utterly beautiful and amazing, while at other times, it can be brutal and unforgiving.
We are all shocked when this safe, innocent bubble bursts to smack you right into the real world. Once you have this rude awakening, life will never be the same.
We are aware of death, that every living thing must go through this whether we like it or not. We are constantly reminded of it throughout our adult lives, as we see more and more of it.
My rude awakening was when my grandfather passed away when I was in my youth. He was really good to me, showing me plenty of love and affection. I still remember the feel of his rough stubble as he would shower me with kisses and hugs.
There are few things I took away from this seminal event: enjoy life when we have it, enjoy loved ones while we’re here, and make lots of good, fun memories while we’re here.
I may have been young, but these life lessons stayed with me to this day.
As we look back at our Pomeranian Toby’s passing, it’s the memories that we had together that remain to this day. We truly enjoyed life together, we loved each other, and we sure made some good memories together. That’s not a bad way to live…
Looking back, we lived 15 years together, at times not always fun and games, but we were together as a tightly knit pack unit. We’d go on hikes together, eat meals together, play together, sleep together, and most importantly, love together…
I’d like to take this time to share some of the things I remember about our fur baby. Although I can’t possibly list everything on this post, I will at least share the first few weeks of our lives together in this post (with other memories to come in my future posts). This is my way of remembering him…
- We got him at a pet store near where we lived just around Fourth of July
My wife and I never raised a pet together, and we were excited and anxious. After having visited several dog shelters, pet stores, and searching online for several weeks, we decided on one of three different breeds: a Pomeranian, a Yorkie, or a Maltese.
We liked the idea of getting a small toy breed as our first pet, as it seemed less daunting than say larger, but more popular breeds, like the German Shepherd, Labrador Retriever, or similar. As a first time pet parents, we wanted to be eased into this, to ensure we succeed in raising our fur baby.
When we met the “one”, it was at our neighborhood pet store just 3-4 miles from our home in the suburbs of Philadelphia. He was a Pomeranian puppy, and unlike the other rambunctious little puppies in the same play pen, he was super relaxed.
He slept while his comrades at play were busy barking, yapping, and playing all around him. I was totally mesmerized by this. He reminded me of myself, who can stay calm at work and in life.
My supervisor used to call me the “Zen Master”, for having the ability to not be flustered by anything while working. I was also famous for taking afternoon naps in the lunch room. This one time, I managed to sleep through an earthquake event while everyone else was being evacuated, and someone in my department eventually had to wake me up to get me out of the building.
Toby, that puppy who was sleeping like there’s nothing going on, was built just like me! I felt an immediate camaraderie to that fur baby, even if we had just met. It was love at first sight.
We spent few minutes with him outside of the play pen, and as we looked for his peculiarities, demeanors, and his reactions to us, I knew he was the one. I lifted him up by his shoulders, and I peered into his beautiful, brown eyes. He didn’t resist, and he calmed down the longer I held him.
We took him home after that. During the car ride home, I saw that he was curious, but not agitated or scared at the prospect of being adopted by humans. He had those deep, soulful eyes that looked at me, wondering how his life would turn out.
- First few weeks together were rough…
The first day we brought him home, we honestly didn’t know how we were going to raise this little fur ball. He was curious, sniffing everywhere and everything in the kitchen area, which would be his area for some time to come.
After some play time, he crashed and slept, right on the not so comfortable kitchen floor. He looked so cute and peaceful sleeping on his side, with his legs fully stretched out.
We looked at each other and we also took turns looking at Toby as he slept. We realized we were actually going to be raising a dog. It was both a huge responsibility but a welcome change we both looked forward to for some time. Thinking back, I still have fuzzy feelings thinking about that moment…
The first night, we took the advice of several dog experts who recommended that we sleep separately. Not knowing anything better, we isolated him in our powder room.
We heard him all night, crying and yelping. We had a heck of a time sleeping that night, so the following night, I decided to take him to the walkout basement where I would sleep with him.
Even inside the crate, he seemed visibly relieved and relaxed at the sight of me, sleeping just few feet away from him. He slept much better that night, and that would continue from that day forward.
Philadelphia area got soaked with so much rain the week we brought him to our home. We had to potty train him in the heavy rain, in the morning, the afternoon, and at night.
We had confused him by teaching him to go potty inside the powder room, but we realized we were wrong. We changed that up, and we took him outside every time after that.
He was a smart puppy, and he was house trained after couple of weeks. Good boy!
As Toby grew up each and every day, his peculiarities started to emerge. One of those, was the famous Pomeranian “zoomies”, where he would run around at full speed to get the rage out.
On a slippery linoleum floor of the kitchen, that looked so comical, with Toby pretty much running in place just like in the cartoons with those funny sound effects, ala “the Road Runner”. His ears would be tucked back to make him more aerodynamic while he would grunt every few seconds. It was so funny and entertaining every time he would do that.
Another peculiarity that popped up was when he began teething, and he would start to gnaw at everything in sight, including the wooden island in the kitchen. We had to make him stop this behavior by spraying bitter apple spray concoction on those places he would gnaw at.
We also learned a hard lesson about the importance of not feeding him too much food, especially at night. One night as we were getting ready to sleep, he pooped inside the crate, like 4 times throughout the night, as he really “had to go”! That completely ruined my night, and I went to work dazed and confused from lack of sleep.
Well, I sure learned my lesson…
- Putting him on a leash for the first time and going on his first walk
We got him slowly used to the feel and the sound of putting on a leash. He didn’t like it at first, but we lured him in with treats.
After successfully putting the leash on him for our first walk, he just stood there, and stared as if saying “I’m not going anywhere!” He refused to budge, as he would pull backwards.
After some trial and error, with the help of his favorite treats, he finally came along on that first walk, reluctant, but at least on the same page as me. That was one of those memories I will never forget. So cute…
In conclusion:
It is hard to believe that it has been 4 years since that pretty fur ball left us. As hard as it has been the first few months living without him, life has been getting easier each and every day.
I try to remember the good times, the funny moments, and the times we spent together, rather than dwell on the bad times (especially the last few months of his life). Sure, losing someone even if that is a dog/cat, is difficult.
But it’s always important to remember that life does go on. We should strive to remember the best times together and knowing that we had a great life together.
I miss him dearly, and he is to this day, entrenched deep into my psyche. Every dog I see reminds me of Toby…
You know what they say, “It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” I totally agree.
What’s life if not for these great relationships, great memories, and of course, great love that define who we are? I’m glad I got to share 15 years of my life with that fur ball.
I miss you greatly, and you will never be forgotten!
Thank you for reading and remember to spend time with your loved ones whether they’re humans or 4 legged creatures!
Jake
Wandering Money Pig
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