Dangers of entitlement on your path to happiness: A path to FIRE (financial independence retire early)

 

Shopping at high end stores

Dr. Steve Maraboli:  “A sense of entitlement is a cancerous thought process that is void of gratitude and can be deadly to our relationships.”

Welcome back!

In this post, I’d like to share my thoughts on the dangers of entitlement to your happiness, as well as dangers of entitlement to your financial independence.

Let’s first define what entitlement is:

Entitlement is defined as the fact of having a right to something or the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment.

Throughout my early childhood until I turned 20, I felt entitled.  I believed the world owed me something for all the perceived ‘wrongs’ it has done to me.  I thought I was deserving of everything because the world made my childhood unhappy and difficult.  

I thought, wrongly, that just because I had a tough childhood, that something good had to happen.  This toxic thought process took hold of me in my teen years...

I had classic symptoms of someone with entitlement issues:

  • I expected rules to not apply to me which applied to everyone else.
  • I expected others to be more interested in me than I to them.  
  • I thought I was more special than others.
  • I inconvenienced others.
  • I thought it was ok to upset or offend people.
  • I was angry at the world.

It wasn’t until I met my future wife that I started to break this harmful cycle of blaming others, not taking personal responsibility, and feeling entitled.

There are many examples of people with entitlement issues ending up as cautionary tales:

  1. Childhood stars who commit suicides when their belief of the world no longer mesh with the real world.
  2. Average people ending up unhappy when the world doesn’t work the way they think it should.
  3. People constantly meeting someone to break up, then repeating the cycle, as no one can possibly meet their unrealistic expectations.
  4. Mired in constant disappointments, some people will blame everyone but themselves and show anger towards everyone and everything.

Bottom line:  Sense of entitlement is not going to make you happy nor help your goals of achieving financial independence.

How does sense of entitlement impede your path to financial independence?

When you’re entitled, you’re going to expect everything to be perfect.  Why?  Because you’re so special!  You’re going to expect life to treat you right, no matter the cost.  

You will expect nothing less than perfection from your life.  This will inevitably lead to impulse buying, taking expensive vacations, buying latest ‘hot’ car, and decorating your home for entertaining constantly.  This behavior will lead you down a path of financial ruin as no one can possibly pay for all these things to fill the black hole that can’t possibly be filled...

No one or nothing can possibly satisfy your unrealistic expectations...

How do we fix this sense of entitlement?

I’m no psychiatrist, but I’ll say this.  Entitlement works as long as someone keeps indulging that person.  You have to learn to say ‘No’ and stick to it.  Once the entitled person understands that he/she is not special, that the world doesn’t revolve around them, can there be change.  

We all should learn and practice gratitude.  We should all learn and practice good manners.  We should try to live like the famous Confucian quote, “Never do to others what you would not like them to do to you.”

I finally realized the problem was not everyone else and everything else, but with me.  I needed to change my behavior to practice gratitude, to work hard, and push forward despite disappointments.  

All of these changes helped me break this harmful thought process.  Once this thought process stopped, I was then able to plan and commit to positive changes in my life and financial life.  

It started a snowball effect that would positively change my life for the better.  From buying our first home, to starting a career, and to starting a retirement account, I was no longer waiting / expecting things to happen, but rather pursuing it.  If something didn’t work out, I no longer blamed everything and everyone, but rather just took that in stride...

In conclusion:

It’s important to objectively assess yourself and ask if you’re entitled.  If you are, take the time to practice gratitude, practice good manners (treat others same way you want to be treated), and stop expecting things from the world.  The quicker you take personal responsibility for your own life, the better your life (personal, financial, mental) will be.  

Thank you all for reading!


Jake

Wandering Money Pig 


If you missed the post ‘What’s it like to hand in your resignation...’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘How to retire early...’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘We sold our home during the pandemic...’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘What is the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement...’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Magic of compounding interest...’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Our minimalist update…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Dangers of entitlement on your path to happiness…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Get rid of debt to reach your goal of financial independence…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Thinking of moving to Pennsylvania…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Learn to say enough to be happy on your path to financial independence and to retire early…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Why is downsizing/minimalism so difficult…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Is America still a land of opportunity…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Learn a skill that pays you well to retire early…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Invest and not save for retirement…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Learn to enjoy the moment for life and for FIRE…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘The correlation between consumerism and early retirement…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Retire on $200,000 (200k)…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Adapting to change for life and for FIRE…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Thinking of moving to Hawaii…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Tough childhood leads to success in later life…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Thinking of moving to New York City…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Importance of finding purpose in early retirement…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘What is the rule of 72…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Retire on $100,000 (100k)…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘The importance of a significant other’s role in your path to FIRE…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Save for retirement or pay off debt…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘How much do I need to retire…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Early Retirement Manifesto…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Pros and cons of early retirement…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘How to save money when traveling…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘What is the average 401k balance…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Doing a garage sale during the pandemic…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘First few months after early retirement…’, please click here.

If you missed the post ‘Not caring too much equals happiness…’, please click here.

Please check out our YouTube channel ‘Wandering Money Pig’ showcasing our travels and our Pomeranian dog! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3kl9f4W9sfNG5h1l-x6nHw


Popular posts from this blog

AirBNB horror story: How we got a refund from AirBNB due to a noisy neighbor…

Image
  Letchworth State Park, NY My wife and I (and our Pomeranian Toby) have been slow traveling since our early retirement last August.  We rely on AirBnB or Vrbo when we travel, and this past April was no exception. We chose a monthly rental via AirBNB in the month of April, in a town called Claysburg, Pennsylvania.  The rental was a studio unit that has a bed, a futon, full kitchen and a private bath. On the day of our arrival (April 1st), we were greeted by snow falling at the condo.  It was a beautiful sight to behold! We checked in with no problems and slowly settled in.  The next three days were uneventful.  We did our usual unpacking, then we went shopping for food from a nearby supermarket the following day.  We enjoyed the sights nearby and were having a good time at a new location. By Monday of the following week, our luck had changed for the worse.  The neighbor upstairs did what sounded like to us, either deep cleaning and renovating! We heard loud music blasting, while heavy
Read more

Review of Vdara Hotel, Las Vegas, NV (Nevada): Pros and Cons

Image
  Vdara Hotel, Las Vegas (entrance area) My wife and I had visited Las Vegas on numerous occasions.  I had visited five times while my wife had visited three times, up until the last trip.  When we decided to go on a vacation, we again decided Las Vegas was the right destination for the both of us. Las Vegas is a desert oasis that is home to nearly 2.7 million people.  Over 45 million visitors have stopped over at Las Vegas in 2019.  It is the most exciting city west of New York City, and it certainly earns its moniker of ‘Entertainment Capital of the World’! I started going to Las Vegas in 2001 when COMDEX trade shows were still being held at the Las Vegas Convention Center.  This was right after 9/11 happened. COMDEX was held in November of that same year. I remember going to the airport with trepidation and worry.  New York City was still reeling from the aftermath of 9/11.  There were still cleanups going around downtown Manhattan.   From our apartment building in Queens, NY, we co
Read more

Review of Falls Lake Dam Recreation Area, Wake Forest, North Carolina

Image
  Falls Lake Dam Recreation Area, Wake Forest, NC After my wife and I sold our home at the end of August 2020, we headed down to Wake Forest, North Carolina.  This would mark the beginning of our early retirement.  We wanted to spend time with my brother in law and his family, who we haven’t seen in over a year.  It was during this visit that we discovered this fantastic recreation area. Falls Lake Dam Recreation Area is a man made reservoir located in the upper portion of the Neuse River Basin, nestled near North Carolina’s bustling Triangle Area.  The reservoir covers nearly 12,500 acres of water and is surrounded by 25,500 acres of public land.   The lake stretches 22 miles upstream to the confluence of three rivers: Eno, Flat, and Little Rivers. Falls Lake Dam Recreation Area boasts hiking trails, fishing, water sports, biking, wildlife viewing, etc. See my notes below when visiting the Recreation Area: The main entrance to the Recreation Area is accessible from the Falls of Neuse
Read more