Taking personal responsibility for FIRE (financial independence retire early) and for life
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| Heart Lake, Adirondacks, upstate New York |
When I was young and stupid, I blamed the world for my problems. I thought the world owed me for making my life what it was. Yes, I did have a tough childhood and yes, life wasn’t easy when I was growing up.
I thought that somehow the world owed me for what I went through. I had mentioned in one of my past blog posts that it wasn’t until I met my future wife that I started to change how I saw the world. I learned gratitude for what I do have, and not live my life like it owed me something…
That was when I understood the importance of taking personal responsibility. For without it, we tend to blame everyone and everything around us. This is a dangerous way to live one’s life, as it’s never our fault. This way of thinking gets you exactly nothing in life. When life gives you a lemon, you’ll just blame the world for giving you that lemon, rather than try to make something out of that lemon, like say a lemonade.
In this post, I’d like to share my thoughts and views on the topic of taking personal responsibility.
It’s always been easier for me growing up to simply blame something or someone when things didn’t go my way. When I had to work 5 weeks working 6 days a week during my 6th grade summer vacation, I blamed the world. I asked, why can’t I just have fun during my summer vacation like my friends? Why do I need to work when I’m only 12 years old?
When my family was evicted from our apartment rental the same year, I again took the same stance. In my senior year of my high school, I got into a collision in my first car, and again I blamed others. This pattern of blaming others was how I lived my life. Why? Because it was just easier…
It’s never easy to take personal responsibility for your actions, and your life. I know it wasn’t easy for me, for fear of failure, and/or for fear of looking bad, stupid, or silly. To take personal responsibility meant I had to face the problem head on, which was never easy.
There’s a saying that people will take the path of least resistance when dealing with problems. I know I did, and I know many people still do. It’s easier to just blame others rather than to face the music, to face up to your problems, or face your demons, and to deal with it.
Why do you think there are so many obese people in the world? Yes, there are greedy, unscrupulous corporations trying to feed people junk food and yes, there are companies out there selling unhealthy fast foods.
But is it just them that’s at fault for us being obese? Nope.
When I was 9 years old, I got fat after eating all those delicious, irresistible McDonald’s hamburgers, French fries, chicken McNuggets, and so on, after moving to the United States. I had never tasted anything like it growing up in South Korea!
My brother made fun of me for getting fat, where my thighs literally stuck together thanks to my insatiable appetite. After getting made fun of for being fat like every other day, like only a brother truly can, I finally took personal responsibility in my 6th grade and started to run in the morning.
I also started to eat much less McDonald’s and other fast foods I loved so much. After few months of getting up at 6 a.m. to run, and eating less junk food/fast food, I started to lose weight. I never looked back since then.
We should all take some responsibility for eating unhealthy stuff. I know I ate my share of McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, Domino’s, Pizza Hut, Coca Cola, Sprite, Doritos, and so on. Growing up in the United States meant I had my fill of fast foods, junk foods, and sweets. I mean who didn’t?
When we were young, our parents may have bought these foods for us initially, so we really didn’t have much say in this matter. As adults though, we should be taking these foods in moderation, or less. No one is feeding us these foods as adults.
We’re personally responsible for eating all of these foods that’s making us obese. Even fast food companies know their food is not healthy, and they expect an adult to know that their food isn’t healthy.
So why would you go out and constantly eat this stuff? You have no one to blame but yourself if you’re choosing to eat this stuff every day. Big, bad, greedy, unscrupulous corporations aren’t putting a gun to your head so you’ll eat their food.
When it comes down to it, we are personally responsible for what we choose to eat. We are personally responsible for our finances, and we are personally responsible for how we’re living our lives. No one is force feeding you food, no one but you is doing your finances, and no one can live your life for you!
Here are my views on the importance of personal responsibility for living a better life. For without it, your life will not improve. Owning up to your problems and taking charge is the only way to live.
- Take personal responsibility when it comes to food and exercise
Try to walk everyday if you can. Eventually, walking will become a habit where you’ll do it regularly. Add in strengthening exercises. You don’t even need equipment to exercise. Just use your body weight to work out. Things like push ups, sit ups, planks come to mind.
Slowly eat less and less junk food/fast food from your diet. Replace sodas with tea, or water. Replace fried foods for grilled, sautéed, or broiled foods. Cook at home, and make yourself a sandwich or a salad.
It’s important to do about 80% right (diet & exercise), but also treat yourself about 20% of the time. Eat what you want one day a week so you won’t feel deprived. Eat that ice cream, pizza, or a burger so you can continue to eat right.
After awhile, weight will come off, the more you stick to this weight loss plan.
One important thing about losing weight: Do not set unrealistic expectations of your weight loss. Losing weight slowly is how it should be. Take the slow and steady approach to losing weight.
- Take personal responsibility when it comes to your finances
You have no one to blame but yourself for not learning about one of the most important things about becoming an adult. Take the initiative to learn then put it to use. Learn about saving, investing, 401k, and IRA for example. Learn about budgeting, emergency fund, and retirement.
Knowledge is power. The more you know, the better your finances will be.
Learn a skill that pays you well. Again, you have no one to blame if you’re doing something you feel you’re not getting compensated enough for. If you’re in retail and you’re not happy, then learn a skill that pays better. If you’re working at fast food restaurants, learn a skill for better pay.
Life doesn’t give you anything for free. You have to go out there and grab it. You have to meet the world half way. Show effort, and life will work with you…
- Stop the destructive, self fulfilling prophecy of believing life sucks
