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| Be uncomfortable to achieve something great! |
Walt Disney: “All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
Recently I was listening to a podcast about an ex-Navy Seal commander of SEAL Team 3, Jocko Willink. In it, he talked about the importance for new recruits to accept, then embrace the uncomfortable reality of the Navy Seal BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL) school.
He believed that for new recruits to be successful at the BUD/S school, they would need to have the mindset to take what’s uncomfortable and turn it into comfortable. For someone like Jocko, who loved being a commando ever since he was a child growing up in the woods of Maine and Connecticut, the BUD/S school was a joyride.
He fully embraced the uncomfortable, then came out on the other side as a lean mean fighting machine. Listening to his incredible stories of training to become a SEAL and stories of war, I got goosebumps. Here was a man who persevered through one of the most difficult training schools in the world, then go on to lead group of other SEALs into combat.
He exemplified what it means to face adversity, to embrace that adversity, so as to become a better person. Even if I never enlisted in the military, I think everyone can learn an important lesson from Jocko Willink, which is, when life throws a lemon at you, you make a lemonade!
In this post, I’d like to share my thoughts on the importance of being uncomfortable, to face adversity, so you can be a better person.
Growing up an immigrant, who came to the United States as a child, forces you to face the uncomfortable, every single day. I had to learn to speak English. I had to go to school when I didn’t understand anything that was said by teachers or by my classmates.
I remember ordering my first McDonald’s meal after coming to the United States. I ordered what I wanted but the person taking the order either didn’t understand me, or had a follow up question (probably “would you like fries with that?”, or “what sauce do you want for your Chicken McNuggets?”) which I didn’t understand. I had a ‘deer in the headlights’ look and I remember being awkward at the whole situation.
I remember being lost at lunch time, not sure what to do to get school lunch. I was the only student in the entire school who spoke Korean, and I didn’t have anyone who can help.
One time, there was a fight right after class. I didn’t know who, or why they were fighting, but I was determined to stop the fight. I jumped in the middle of the fight, not able to speak any English, but using body language to convey my thoughts.
I skipped school on many occasions as I really didn’t want to go somewhere where I didn’t fit in. It would take about a year to start to feel like I can fit in. I got more comfortable going to school thanks to my favorite teacher of all time, Ms. Infanti.
She instilled in me the love for learning and she spent extra time every school day, teaching me the English language. For what she has done, I will forever be grateful…I am who I am today, thanks to her…
Growing up in the mean concrete jungles of New York City in the early 80’s was no picnic. There were many instances of racism growing up. There were the usual catcalls and name calling, everything from “Go back to China”, “Ching Chong”, “Chinito”, “Chino”, and variations of “slant eyes.”
In my 6th grade, I fought back against a bully who would constantly make these disparaging remarks. I couldn’t put up with his constant racist rhetoric anymore, so I fought him in front of many of my classmates, friends, and faculty.
I remember punching him multiple times and putting him in a headlock while punching his head and face. It felt great to be fighting back and standing my ground…
In my 7th grade, there was a big kid who used to call me “chink” as a greeting. He would run into me with that greeting in the hallways, and he would say that in the stairwell in front of everyone. I let it go first few times, but eventually I had a little chat with him.
I slammed him against the wall in the stairwell, then grabbed his throat in a menacing way. I told him firmly to never call me that or any other Asians by that name. I told him how derogatory that word is. After that incident, we didn’t have any more problems.
The point of all this is this: in life, you can either choose to wither away and die from adversity, or channel that to better yourself.
I learned through all these instances of racism that I should try to get out of bad environments and strive for something better when I grew up. I didn’t let these bullies dictate how my life would be. Instead I channeled that negativity, then fought back.
Against this backdrop of dealing with the uncomfortable and with adversity, I came out on the other side a better adjusted person. I tackled learning the language (with help) and I tackled bullies (on multiple occasions) head-on.
It molded me into a stronger person knowing I can deal with uncomfortable people and/or situations. Without these trials and tribulations, I would not be where I am today. You know what they say, “Pressure creates diamonds.” I’m a firm believer in that.
Here are my recommendations on how to use adversity to your advantage:
- Life is full of adversity. How you deal with it is what matters.
No one said life is easy and comfortable. There will always be people out there who doesn’t like you for whatever reason. There will always be situations that happen that will test every fiber of your being. At times like these, it’s easy to take the path of least resistance and to just give up or give in.
You will not learn anything if you give up or give in. It’s when you fight through adversity, as hard as it seems as times, that will make you a better person.
Take the adversity and turn it into an opportunity to change your life. All of the greatest stories of heroes are similar in that they all faced insurmountable odds, but they faced adversity head on and conquered it. What makes heroes who they are, is that they didn’t run away from the problem or give in. Instead they fought through adversity to become a better person.
Cus D’Amato, the famous trainer/mentor of Mike Tyson, once said the following about fear: “The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It’s the same thing, fear, but it’s what you do with it that matters.”
Figure out a way to turn an adversity or a challenge into something good. For example, if someone bullies you, fight back, even if you’re going to lose. It’s the fact that you’re fighting back and standing your ground that matters. You’re doing this to earn respect from the bully, but more importantly, you’re doing this to earn respect for yourself.
- Learn to channel adversity into something good
Use adversity as a motivation to get better as a human being. For example, if the neighborhood you grew up in is rough, use that as motivation to study hard or learn a skill, so you can get out of that environment.
I lived in rough parts of New York City growing up. In Jamaica, Queens, I saw poverty, destitute, and hopelessness, first hand. There were more broken bottles and broken dreams than I cared to see. There were daily struggles for many people living in that desperate place, trying to make ends meet…
I knew after living there for close to 2 years that I needed to do something to never live in a place like that again. I didn’t know what then, but at least I understood what I should and shouldn’t do…
No one will do anything for you, unless you make it happen. Stop blaming everyone else, the environment, and/or the system for your woes. Use that as motivation to figure out a way to make things better.
I’m a firm believer in personal responsibility. Look inwards to fix your problems and stop the blame game. Blaming someone or something is so much easier than looking at yourself in the mirror…Don’t take the easy road. Take the more difficult road and tackle your adversity head on. You’ll become a better person because of it…
- Being uncomfortable is part of reaching financial independence and retiring early
You have to be uncomfortable when you’re accumulating wealth. To do so, tremendous amount of discipline and sacrifice is needed. It’ll be uncomfortable at times, when you try to live your way, and not like most people…
Not spending money will be uncomfortable around the holidays when your family expects you to. Not spending money will be uncomfortable when everyone around you seems to be taking exotic vacations.
It’s the embracing this reality of being uncomfortable that’ll pay off at the end. All the sacrifices you’re making now will pay off when you no longer have to go to work, doing anything or nothing at all, and enjoying your day, your way.
Keep that in mind as you work towards your financial goals!
- Take ownership of your adversity
There are many things in life where you do need help from others. For example, when you’re working, your supervisor can help you with issues you may have with work. At school, your teacher may provide help with school work.
Many times though, you’ll need to work through your own problems, for many of these problems are not easily resolved with outside help. Such examples are dealing with stress of work itself, dealing with relationship issues, and/or dealing with bullies.
Just as the police can’t protect you at all times, outside help, as good as they may be, won’t be with you 24/7, 365 days of the year. You’ll need to deal with issues yourself, and figure out a way to work through them.
It’s to this end that owning your adversity comes into focus. When you own something, you’re acknowledging a problem exists, and you’re actively searching for solutions. When you own something, you’re going to make sure you see it through until the end.
Like I said before, when you give in or give up when adversity hits, you won’t learn anything. You will always be in your comfortable little bubble that doesn’t get you anywhere. When another adversity hits (and they will), you’ll go deeper into your little bubble. Eventually, you’ll live your life devoid of true happiness that comes from you challenging yourself, improving, then conquering that challenge.
Instead of being comfortable, the act of being uncomfortable, to get you out of that comfortable bubble, will force you to adjust, adapt, learn from it, thereby making you a much better person. Who wants to live in a comfortable/safe bubble all the time? If you never challenge yourself, how can you get better at anything? How boring would life be if you’re always doing the same thing every single day just because it’s comfortable and safe?
If being human means we need to adapt to our environment to survive, then learn to embrace adversity to truly adapt to your environment. There are important life lessons to learn when tackling challenges of life. It’s the act of you challenging that adversity that will mold you into a wise, hardy, well-adjusted individual.
Whether you win or lose is not important, as long as you’re doing it to learn something from that adversity…
In conclusion:
Jocko Willink’s inspirational stories hit home. In the age where most people can’t stand even a moment of being uncomfortable, his story is one of a great hero, willing to challenge himself to become a better person.
By tackling the uncomfortable head on, it prepared him mentally and physically to become one of the greatest leaders and warriors of our time. I have the utmost respect for all those fighting men who willingly go into military service to protect our country. Their stories should be celebrated and studied by everyone.
One important lesson to take away is this:
Don’t be comfortable if you want to be truly happy. Deal with being uncomfortable so you can challenge yourself. It’s the act of challenging yourself and tackling an adversity, that will make you become a better human being. The end goal then is to become a well-adjusted, hardy being that is able to withstand, and even conquer, any challenge that will surely come your way in the future.
When you do this often enough, you’ll be primed to achieve something great, whatever that endeavor might be…
Just like when food tastes better when you’re hungry, relaxing on a weekend from working a full week feels so good, and/or going out after being cooped up at home during the pandemic, you need to have lived through the uncomfortable to really cherish/enjoy the good times. Keep that in mind!
Thank you all for reading!
Jake
Wandering Money Pig
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