 |
Death can teach all of a lesson on living…
|
William Shakespeare: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”
When we’re young, death is not something we think about or worry about. At that age, we feel invincible and feel as if we’ll all live forever. As we age slowly but surely, this attitude starts to change.
As our grandparents or someone of that age, start to pass away, we start to feel that maybe, we’re not invincible after all. Losing someone who you knew all your life, changes a person’s perspective on life, and of course, death.
We start to realize our own mortality as we get older. The foolish notions that we’ll live forever and we’ll be in the most optimal physical shape we were enjoying when younger, start to fade away slowly, as surely as the changing seasons.
For the most part, this realization doesn’t hit home for some until someone really close passes away, like a parent or a friend. This was certainly the case for myself.
I lost both of my father/mother (in-laws) and a dear friend all in the span of about 6 years. It hit me then. I had been incredibly close to my in-laws for the better part of 20+ years. We spent so much time together, just doing family things like eating good food together, having fun together, and just being there during good times and the bad.
When my father-in-law passed away, it wasn’t like it was unexpected. He had been fighting cancer right around the time he passed. It wasn’t my first funeral, but it symbolized my own mortality at seeing someone so close pass away.
Within another two years, a good friend of ours passed away, also from cancer. Eric had only been 64 years of age when he was diagnosed with cancer. It progressed so rapidly that he was gone within 6 months after his diagnosis.
Seeing Eric suffering through chemotherapy then seeing him wither away into nothing, made me realize yet again, how fragile we all are. We’re all foolish in thinking we’re going to be healthy forever and live forever…
My mother-in-law, who I was close to, also passed away last year. Going to three different funerals of people close to you, reinforced my belief that we should really try to enjoy this one fragile life we all have, and to do the things that you always wanted to do.
What death has taught me are the following lessons about how to live our lives:
- We get one life. There are no do overs.
As we get older, reaching midlife and beyond, we start to have doubts and regrets about our lives. Did I live the life I wanted to? Am I living it and doing things I want to do?
To live without regrets is a wonderful thing. Because we only get one shot at living this life, do everything in your power to live the way you wanted to. If that means quitting a dead end job you hate, then changing your career, or if that means traveling more, do the things that make you happy and fulfilled.
When I was younger, I thought someone who was 25 was old. As I got older, then blowing past my midlife, I understand how short life really is…
It really feels like it was yesterday that I got married and was trying my best to make ends meet. Now I’m 50 years old! I still can’t fathom how I got so old!
The point is, everybody goes through the same thing. One day you’re in your teens, you then go to college, get a job, then get married. Sooner or later, you’re staring into your midlife, wondering how you got there…
It feels like yesterday that I was idling away at home eating mom’s cooked food, comfortably living without worries (teen years), then to living independently away from my parents, with adult sized worries.
When looking back, life really seemed to have gone by in a blur. I can still feel what it was like to get my first real job all those years ago. I can still remember buying our first home. What I felt then, as it was happening, was at times like being stuck in mud, when making forward progress seemed to never come fast enough…Now that I look back, they’re just a collection of memories that happened super fast.
- Enjoy everything this one life gives you…
Find little things to enjoy every single day: listen to the rainfall, take afternoon naps, spend quality time with your loved ones, listen to birds, listen to music, play with your pets, watch nature, hike, etc.
Find out things you like to do, learn, or try. Be creative. Be you.
- There is no point in waiting for the right time…
I’ve seen too many people waiting for the ‘right time’ to do whatever it is they want to do. Whether that’s trying something new, traveling more, or changing careers, if you wait for the ‘right time’, that right time may never come.
You may end up waiting and waiting, then look back and say, ‘I should’ve just done that’.
Even when I was young, I always knew everything is fleeting. Those times we have with our friends seem to last forever when we’re in our teens, but once we get married (or become adults), hanging out with friends becomes harder and harder…
Those times we put off to spend with our loved ones, we can never get back. Everything in life has a definite shelf life. It’ll last for some time, but nothing lasts forever…
Make things happen, and prepare best you can. Once the preparation is done, make the jump! Don’t wait for that perfect, right time to come.
You’re better off trying something that means something to you, even if you fail, than not doing it, then regretting it!
- Knowing death comes for us all should serve as an impetus to live starting now…
When my wife and I made the jump to retire early, we had trepidations and worries. What if this happens, or that happens? Can we really do this?
Everyone will worry when it comes to major upheavals in life, like selling your home, quitting your job, retiring, etc.
If you’ve planned as best as you possibly could, then don’t talk yourself out of doing something. Too many times, I’ve seen people never do anything because they were too afraid, too embarrassed, too busy, too proud, and too (fill in the blank).
Don’t be that person who regrets about everything they should’ve, could’ve, would’ve done on their death bed. After reading different articles, I know some of the major regrets as people get older are: should’ve saved more money for retirement, should’ve asked that person out, should’ve traveled more, etc.
It’s better to try something than not try at all, even if you fail. At least you won’t have regrets about the ‘what if…’
Looking back, I’m glad we lived the way we lived. I’m glad my wife and I did a cross country road trip in our early thirties when all our friends were busy working. I’m glad we moved to Hawaii to pursue our dream of living in paradise. And I’m glad we started our early retirement!
Of course we had doubts at times pursuing all these things. During our cross country trip, we wondered if we were doing the right thing, by having fun, while our friends were busy making a living. Same thing for our move to Hawaii. We wondered if we really could move there, without knowing anyone, or having a job lined up.
Had we listened to our logical/play-it-safe inner self, we never would’ve done any of those things that define who we are today. At the end of the day, isn’t it more fun to have stories to share, than to live a life so devoid of challenges and risks, that you have nothing interesting to talk about???
In conclusion:
People say there are only two sure things in life: death and taxes. All of us are pretty oblivious to death, until someone close passes away.
It’s in knowing that we all have this one life, that we can start to really try to make the best of that life. Don’t wait to live your life. Life is oh so short when you look back.
Enjoy today, enjoy the little things, spend time with your loved ones. Plan for things you want to do, then actually do it!
Failing at something shouldn’t discourage you from trying. We all fail. The important thing is to keep at it. As long as you’re trying to achieve whatever goal it is that you want to achieve, then the journey would’ve been worth it.
Thank you all for reading!
Jake
Wandering Money Pig
If you missed the post ‘What’s it like to hand in your resignation...’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘How to retire early...’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘We sold our home during the pandemic...’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘What is the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement...’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Magic of compounding interest...’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Our minimalist update…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Dangers of entitlement on your path to happiness…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Get rid of debt to reach your goal of financial independence…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Thinking of moving to Pennsylvania…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Learn to say enough to be happy on your path to financial independence and to retire early…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Why is downsizing/minimalism so difficult…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Is America still a land of opportunity…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Learn a skill that pays you well to retire early…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Invest and not save for retirement…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Learn to enjoy the moment for life and for FIRE…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘The correlation between consumerism and early retirement…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Retire on $200,000 (200k)…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Adapting to change for life and for FIRE…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Thinking of moving to Hawaii…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Tough childhood leads to success in later life…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Thinking of moving to New York City…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Importance of finding purpose in early retirement…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘What is the rule of 72…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Retire on $100,000 (100k)…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘The importance of a significant other’s role in your path to FIRE…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Save for retirement or pay off debt…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘How much do I need to retire…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Early Retirement Manifesto…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Pros and cons of early retirement…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘How to save money when traveling…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘What is the average 401k balance…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Doing a garage sale during the pandemic…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘First few months after early retirement…’, please click
here.
If you missed the post ‘Not caring too much equals happiness…’, please click
here.
Please check out our YouTube channel ‘Wandering Money Pig’ showcasing our travels and our Pomeranian dog! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3kl9f4W9sfNG5h1l-x6nHw
